Alan Richard Kisitu. ARK. What a man.
Yeah, this is a bit random. Why now? Why share my memories of Alan now?
Umm… I don’t know.
I’ve been “writing” this in my head for years. Never sat down to put it down. Always wondered if I even SHOULD!
And I’ve drafted and redrafted it so many times. It’s been a novelette, 4 paragraphs, sometimes even a 3-part series with guest writers. Heh heh heh.
But now I’ve sat here and I’ve decided to just share a few selected memories of my own. Hopefully it won’t be too long winded, or too self indulgent.
Forgive me for the parts where my memory underplayed, or exaggerated stuff. And for the lack of structure.
And hey, for every mistake, just know that I will look back and wish I had mentioned X and Y. Sigh.
Now Behold The Lamb
I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that Alan was one of the most gifted worship leaders in the country of Uganda. He could, as we say, “lead you to the throne”. A brilliant singer, a natural musician, and an underrated song writer.
But here’s the thing. Alan would not mind me sharing this (he did so many times in the St. Francis Youth Service) but he struggled against the flesh. I think most worshippers do? I won’t ask for witnesses!
And one day he made a stark admission to me that I’ve never forgotten. Which is a different “flesh” struggle than the normal understanding of struggling with lust and sexual desires. He said that he had come to understood the “mechanics” of worship so well, that he could put together a worship session without bothering to connect to the Holy Spirit. Because he knew how to “excite” people into enjoying worship. When he shared this with me, we laughed, and from then on, every time he led I would ask him: “Flesh or Spirit?”
I think that struggle – marrying your lifestyle with your GIFT – is one that I appreciated seeing live before me. It inspired me to know that this man was…. just a man. A man “just like us”.
And fascinatingly, knowing this never diminished my reception of Alan’s ministry. I’m ashamed to confess that there are ministers whose “black marks” affected their ministry to me. Never with Alan. Yet I knew some true failings of the man! But like another famous worshipper – David – you always knew that Alan’s heart was forever seeking after God.
Psalm 42:1 was a particular favourite of his in the KJV
As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God
Psalm 42:1, KJV
Higher Higher!
The boy could sing! And maybe most people who knew him and read this will remember Alan as a singer. That was his USP.
Alan was also a lovely human being. Flawed? Yes. Proud? Oh yes. Stubborn? Duh. Ask Paulo or Uncle Ben or Tandeka! I lost track of the number of “friendship ending” arguments we had. From politics, to doctrine, to religion to work ethic.
But he was a lovely human. Always ready with his pseudo-dimple of a smile. Always up for a joke. The life of the party. The guy who made both men and women feel comfortable in his presence. I wonder how many girls had crushes on the dude. (I know a couple whose names will remain confidential!)
The most amusing aspect of Alan is that the dude loved to give out nicknames! If you didn’t have a nickname from Alan, I must say you missed out on life.
Alan gave me a couple of nicknames. The one which stuck was “Knees”. Here’s why…
I preached a sermon one day and in it I referenced a classic Christian book called Foxes’ Book of Martyrs. In that book, it tells how James, the brother of Jesus (and writer of the book of James) was a very prayerful man. He would throw himself on his knees every night in the temple to pray. And it is said his knees developed calluses as hard as those of a camel, and he was known in Jerusalem as “Camel’s Knees”.
… his knees by oft kneeling lost the sense of feeling, being benumbed and hardened like the knees of a camel.
Foxes Book of Martyrs, Chapter II
It was over. From that day on, we were “Camel’s Knees” to each other. Then shortened to “Knees”. It was always amusing to see the confusion on people’s faces when two grown men started shouting “KNEES!” to each other!
Alan had a great sense of humour, and an underappreciated sense of humility.
I was lucky for a period to be Alan’s prayer partner. Also unlucky, because when we would meet to pray, we would always start by joining in song. And every other day it was ME to lead the singing. You guys! Leading a ONE-ON-ONE with ALAN FREAKING KISITU????
Me? Me who sounds bad even in the shower???
But Alan never judged my singing. Never judged my poor song choices. And I loved him for it.
Blessed Are Those Who Dwell In Your House
I’m getting verbose now….
Alan loved the church. And there is no aspect of church he was not involved in. He sung, danced, wrote songs, played instruments, produced for other artists, wrote plays (I collaborated with him on 2 of the plays he wrote, and there are Franciscans who still call me “Barabbas” to this day), led youth ministry, led intercessions and overnights, preached, stood in for the reverend!
He was also a great leader, and team player. One of the best leadership teams I ever worked with was a 7-man team that led Youth Ministry in St Francis for a year or two (with Chris, Lynnet, Evangeline, Irene, Alan and led by our fearless leader Marcus). It’s no coincidence that almost everyone of those 7 has gone on to leadership positions.
Alan always talked about getting ordained and he was determined to drag me and others along with him! Unfortunately, for various reasons, the opportunity never came up.
Outside the church, I got to spend a difficult year working with Alan. Oh, my brother was amazing in church, but in the corporate world, I have to be honest and say he was not cut out. Deadlines were seen as “gentle suggestions”. Plans were “nice ideas”. Hahahahaha.
We eventually had to part ways to save the friendship!
But even in that frustration, I saw another part of Alan’s character. He didn’t like not knowing. (D’jalo can testify). He believed he could be a great designer, a great coder, a great businessman. Oh to have half his confidence!
We still continued leading together in church even after the business “break up”! Alan rarely held grudges.
I Feel Like Flying
Oh Alan, how sad that of the major worship leaders in St. Francis in the late 90s and early 2000s, Alan has the least recordings. The voice that ministered so joyously to so many for decades never had a formal solo recording. I used to berate him over and over about his group Voice of Victory never having a recorded album. I tried to push him to write and record his own music. To no avail.
But in our memories, we can all hear that soaring voice as he transported us. And I hope that those who do have recordings (Paulo are you there?) can share them to keep the memory alive.
As I finish this reminiscing, I have to say that thinking of Alan always leaves me with tears of joy. Alan always had “heaven in his eyes” to quote Rich Mullins. His unfortunate sickness never diminished that. I won’t go into the aspects that caused our friendship to fade away but for as long as he was able, Alan was a minister of the gospel. When he could still write you could find him on Facebook sharing the Word. When he was no longer able to write, you would visit him and see “heaven in his eyes”. He never stopped believing for healing. But also was at peace with his God as his body continued to fail. He was not afraid to meet The Master.
I don’t even know if these are the correct lyrics, since it’s been 20 years or more since I last heard it, but let us all join with Alan’s group Voice of Victory (Helen, Ssese, Cathy, Jonal, Jackie and Jackie) and declare:
“I Feel Like Flying
I Feel Like Flying Oh
And My Heart is Lighter
My Heart and Soul are Taken Away
My Soul is Caught Up with The Author Of Life
Jesus”
I love you Camel’s Knees. You have FLOWN. Your soul is caught up with the Author of Life. Tell Jesus about us.
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