Jesus is the Reason, or is He?

So for a long time I’ve been asked to write more on some of the things I’ve learnt in my journey of raising my two fantastic sons. And the reason I haven’t is because I ask myself the way a friend of mine asks: “As who?” Heh-heh-heh. What do I know that countless other better dads, better mums, better uncles and aunties don’t?

But sometimes, you just go for it and hope that maybe someone out there by some miracle knows even LESS than me and will gain something!

I hope to write more about my boys – I have had 14 years of ups and downs that may contain some nuggets.

So…..

Consumerism & Christmas

Growing up, Christmas was EXCLUSIVELY a time for family. No matter what we wanted to do, which friends we wanted to be with, our dad would hear none of it. It was a non-negotiable. Because we spent several years outside Uganda, many of the more memorable Christmases involved travel from wherever we were back to Uganda and of course to the village.

Maybe one day I’ll write about some of those journeys?

On top of that, in our family, celebrations are never complete without the aspect of gifting. Christmas morning was always exciting because we would wake up at 6am and rush to the living room to see the gifts under the tree. We outgrew Santa pretty quickly (except for Eva – who I think STILL believes) but it never dimmed that excitement!

When I had my own kids, I determined to maintain that tradition. The whole bling – Christmas tree, decorations, lights, carols (oh we had some fantastic Carols Nights with friends), and of course gifts under the tree at midnight, so the kids would wake up to coloured boxes.

Commercial Break: If you’ve not read my friend Diane Komunda’s book “Stilling Time”, go look for it now. It’s a beautiful exploration of the power of using deliberate moments to create lasting memories.

Click here now!

Advent

As a Christian, Christmas raises a dilemma. How do you balance the desire for celebration, with the core reason for the celebration, namely JESUS? How do you appreciate the concept of gifting, family, celebration, etc, while also reminding everyone that – as Kirk Franklin sang – “Jesus is the reason for the season”?

I’m a person who doesn’t believe in throwing the baby out with the bathwater. (Seriously, how the heck did that saying come to be? Were parents being so reckless????)

So this year (2023), I decided to do something deliberate about it.

Those of us who grew up Anglican/Catholic are familiar with the word Advent. It is a 4-week commemoration and celebration of Jesus’ arrival on the earth, and the Church usually has programmes and celebrations through those 4 Sundays before Christmas.

Of course, commercialism never loses sleep, and the season Advent led to the creation of commercial “Advent Calendars“. The original advent calendars were first used in the Lutheran Church and had 24/25 doors in a frame, each door opening to contain a small gift, or a Biblical scene, with the last door typically showing the Nativity

Using Toys to Teach

My sons have 4 great “loves” – football, Lego, Star Wars and Marvel. Parents fall somewhere in 5th or 6th place.

So as I thought about this advent, I thought of how to combine these “loves” into a teaching moment. How to take the consumerist nature of Christmas, and turn it for good. How to not throw the clean baby out with the dirty bathwater.

Step 1: The toys
Below you can see 2 sets of toys – “Lego Avengers Advent Calendar” and “Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar”

Yay – we found a combo of 3 of the great loves.

Step 2: The lesson

Having toys without relating them to Christmas defeats the purpose. They just become more disposable pieces of plastic.

So after doing some research I landed on a lovely lady who designed a set of Advent readings for teens. I purchased the bundle, and printed on coloured pieces of paper:

These cards contain prophecies concerning Christ in the Old Testament, as well as how those prophecies were fulfilled in the New Testament.

1. It gives the children an opportunity to read Scripture each day before opening the next “door” on their Advent Calendar
2. It teaches them about how Christ is the fulfilment of prophecy.
3. It keeps Jesus front and centre each day.
4. The bundle has discussion pointers and questions to make this a bonding moment with the kids.

Conclusion

If you pick 3 things from this (too) long post I would say that those should be:

One – read “Stilling Time” by Diane Komunda. She does a MUCH better job than me in explaining how to transform moments into memories

Two – Changing the “idea” around an activity requires deliberate effort. Nothing happens by accident!

Three – Learn what your child/spouse/partner loves (I owe y’all an article on this!) and you will find it easier to create a moment when using that as a base.